So I often wonder why I am even here. Today is one of those days. There were only a few things in life that I want and at 40 I have yet to reach any of them.
I feel like no matter how hard I work, how hard I try I can't get ahead. In addition I am lonely and tired of not having anyone to enjoy life with. Sometimes I wonder why God would let a child of cancer or something die and keep me here. WHAT IS MY PURPOSE??? I must have one!
I feel as if I have wasted so much life. I am ashamed of it also but have no idea how to find my way out!
Although I try so hard to be happy for friends who are blessed I also get angry. I don't like that. I think to myself, why can't I catch a break.
I haven't had a vacation in 10 years, I am lonely as hell, can't have a kid (which I have wanted since I was little), I struggle to pay my bills and I desperatly need a new car as mine is falling apart.
I am making almost $10K less than I was making at my previous job. My current employer verbally promised me that I would get back to what I was making but has continually screwed me!I am tired, don't want to keep going... I NEED to find my purpose.
Lord, please help me.
